The following post is a thought or musing of mine that I just wanted to get recorded. These sort of thoughts filter in and out of my head constantly, and I'm of the mindset that if I don't acknowledge their existence, then I may as well have never had them in the first place. And every thought deserves its due attention, even if its a random one such as this.
When growing up I had a very different experience. I'm the youngest of four, and primarily grew up with my sister, as my other two siblings were considerably older and thus occupied a different lifestyle than I did. When they were listening to music and driving vehicles I was playing with Legos and acting like a dinosaur. Growing up, I've always seen how different I was than the rest of my family. I had an unashamed, unbridled and unquenchable thirst for the unknown. Concepts like outer space, the ocean, trackless desert and the deepest recesses of nature were all notions that held great sway with me. These were places that people only talked about or wrote about, but didn't go to. These were 'true' places, untouched by the hand of man and operating without his interference. These ideas, even if I didn't know how to articulate them at the time, intrigued me beyond compare, and were manifested in my love of such things as dinosaurs, Star Wars, the Marvel superheroes and other fantastic stories.
This passion for finding the amazing in what others rarely even thought about set me apart, at least in my eyes, from a lot of people I knew growing up. For all of my head-in-the-clouds, fantasizing and day-dreaming antics, my father was at least that engulfed in practicality. He showed a love of old comics and stories from his youth, but he is a man of concrete facts, of a world that's written in black and white and runs by the word of God and the letter of the law. Where he would try to determine 'why,' I would only muse 'why not?' As I grew up I found that I inherited his unshaking resolution in the truth of the world, in the presence of God, and in the important role religion plays in our lives. Yet I wasn't about to let this 'certainty' of faith, morality, and the way of the world limit my desire to seek the unknown, to continue to walk down paths others dismiss as fantastical, and to continue to keep my head in those beautiful clouds.
What is this post all about? I don't really know. I started out with one thing in mind, but it as changed in these few paragraphs. I guess it is an introspective analysis of myself. If there is one thing I do, and frequently, it's question why I think the way I do, why I feel the way I do, and why I act the way I do. I still feel like I am still learning who I am, and I feel like the only way I will ever truly learn about the world around me is to first understand that there is much I don't know, even about myself.
We all search for the concrete answers in life, or we think we have found them, or we plant them for ourselves to find. We rarely question them, some of us never do, and we are happy knowing that the sky is blue, the sun will rise, and tomorrow will always follow today. But not me. I'm not content with merely accepting the world, or my existence in it, at face value. I am here for a purpose, as is everyone, and I will never learn what that is unless I leave my mind open, unless I accept the fact that the concept of 'truth' is a human concept, and that I will only, in my entire life, learn a mere fraction of what is considered as truth. In short, there is much more going on in existence than I can ever hope to experience, to learn, to know.
No comments:
Post a Comment