I am a published author. I am an independent game designer. While neither have been 'successful' from a sales standpoint, at least they're out there. I am a wellspring of ideas, and I find myself having to pull back the reigns when cataloging my aspirations for future projects. I want to start working on all of them right now, and I want to see them all through to fruition. If only I had a team of me's.
My writing work lately has been pretty strongly focused in the gaming department. Reformatting the Round 10 Core Rulebook for print is the top of my priority list, though the attention I am giving that isn't what it should be. Competing for my time are the first stand-alone adventure module for Round 10, Operation: Heavenly Discord, the first full Setting Module for Round 10, Zimildran, and a new gaming project I've started the alpha build for that I will not discuss any further for now.
Zimildran is becoming increasingly exciting. I've been looking forward to its release for over a year, and while I've still got a long road ahead of me, it is picking up steam in development. The largest chunk of work still has to be done, which will come in the form of writing the lore and history of the world, as well as stating out the list of enemies (most of which are, to my greatest excitement, dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures). Yet the character options and extended details around game mechanics for things like steam-work engineering, animal companion management, and alternate forms of travel (by sail or on the backs of flying reptiles) have all been completed. Hopefully within the coming months I'll be able to release an official preview of a small section of the book on the Round 10 website.
A friend from work said something to me the other day that was at once encouraging and disheartening. After I explained to her about me applying for a promotion at FedEx, she said "I hope this doesn't sound bad, but you're better than both FedEx and Target".
The statement hit me like a loving slap in the face. I told her I appreciated the sentiment, but when I stopped to think about it, my initial reaction was one of defense. Why am I? How am I different than anyone else? All that is different is that I put my time, effort, energy and interest into something that I can capitalize on by myself; writing. Others work hard in school to find a career, or pour themselves into their relationships to build a family and a life with others. I try to do these as well (at least try to build the relationships, for the most part), but sometimes I fear I focus too much on my creative work (despite what my girlfriend tells me).
I am no different than anyone else. The only difference is that I saw an opportunity to produce a product that I love and I believe in, and I took that opportunity. Granted, I only started taking it recently, and haven't been the most focused individual, but I took the opportunity regardless. I am no more special, or no more 'better than FedEx and Target', than anyone else working in those jobs.
To change gears a bit, I made a bit of a realization about myself a few days ago. Three of my gaming buddies, two of which are numbered among my closest friends, have become completely enamored with various tabletop games lately, especially a few card games. I have always had a love for card games, and all forms of tabletop games, yet for some reason my drive to buy cards, build decks, and really invest in these games has dropped way, way down. For a few weeks I couldn't put my finger on why that was, until just recently.
I'm tired of being a consumer. I love the entertainment industry, the well-oiled machine that it has become, but I hate seeing the same ideas recycled and reused without much variance. I hate pouring my money into buying many different games at once, games that I honestly cannot say with any degree of certainty if I'll even play them in a year or two. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy playing them, and I really enjoy discussing strategies and concepts and what-ifs with my friends who play them. I could do that all day. However, I have been made painstakingly aware of how limited my funds are this last holiday season, even after getting a second job. It seems more beneficial to me to put extra money I have towards the production of games rather than the consumption of games.
Yet this is just me, and I wouldn't change my gaming nights with my friends for anything. Unfortunately, I get days where I can only see distractions rather than entertainment. And with as much work as I've been putting on my own plate, I see a lot of distractions. Luckily for me, a few good jokes with someone and I'm well on my way to a change of heart, even if only until the game is done and I return home to my laptop, notebooks and dice.
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