Recently, and by recently I mean in about the last week, I've been struck with a new fear. I know, my list of fears is pretty long, but this one is new and immediate and so it gains some additional attention. The new year has started, and the end of the first full week is approaching. According to my count, I've done a total of 9275 words of writing this week, beating my weekly goal by 2275 words. Not too shabby, and a good start to what will hopefully be 52 weeks of consistent writing.
Most of this writing has been in the windows of time between my two jobs, when I get done with work at FedEx at around 7:30am and before I go in to Target any time from 2:00pm to 5:00pm. There is enough time there for me to make real progress on Round 10, be it in the printed format of the main book or in one of the following products currently on my docket. However, I took a short break one morning and chatted with some friends online, at which point I came to a realization; a lot had been going on in the lives of my close friends, and I had removed myself from those situations, at least to a certain degree, by focusing so hard on my writing and becoming determined to change into a disciplined, effective writer and game designer.
I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill, as I am known to do, but it still resonates with me. Balancing my work life, my writing life, and my social life has always been an issue, and it will only grow to become more of a issue for me in 2014 with my added expectations and goals for the year. And while I am certain that if you ask any of my friends, or at least the ones I'm thinking of when I write like this, they will say that I have no reason to be worried, that I am still a good friend and my anxiety is misplaced.
It doesn't change the fact that the worry is still there, though. And it will continue to be, I'm sure. I, personally, see it as a blessing. My self-awareness is at an all-time high, in my opinion, and I think that this can only mean good things for me. After all, how can I work to become a better son, brother, boyfriend, friend, or writer unless I'm aware of my opportunities and make efforts to correct those?
I want to become a successful writer and I want to feel good about the road I am taking to get there. I appreciate all of the help and support I've gotten so far, but I have a long ways to go. I would just like to ensure that I don't lose sight of what's important while I'm reaching for the first step in the larger dream.
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