I had a very short, but very eye-opening conversation with a coworker today. I had a Facebook status in which I commented saying "I need a personality to fit my ego!" And she responded with "No, you need an ego to fit your personality." Me being me, this intrigued me, so when I saw her this morning I asked what she meant by it.
What she said next hit my personality right on the head, and I hadn't known this about myself until just today. She told me that I "didn't have the self-esteem that I should". I responded by saying that I keep my ego in check because it's gotten me into trouble in the past, and she didn't waste any time in saying "I feel that's because you outwardly show a large ego because inwardly you don't have the self-esteem that you should."
"So I put on a show to fool people into thinking I'm more confident than I really am?"
"Yes."
I smiled and thanked her for the assessment, and as I walked away, I realized that she was right. More right than I would've otherwise cared to admit. I come across as egotistical, or self-centered, or overly confident, but it's true. That facade hides a much less confident self. I'm sure anyone who has shared more than a few conversations of decent depth with me understands this. I was just a bit shocked that something so fundamental about myself was not explicitly known until just today.
A sign that I still have a lot of work to do. Again, I'm nothing if not a work in progress.
No comments:
Post a Comment