Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Too Much Wasted Time

My last couple of posts have been about time management in writing, and how to better hold yourself accountable for your time. I realize that the majority of this blog has been in and around various bits of advice when it comes to pursuing your career, yet I stopped and thought about that for a minute. Here I am, unpublished, distracted and as amateur as you can get, and I'm posting advice about how to become a better writer. That's more than a bit pretentious of me.

That being said, in an effort to shift the focus from me providing less-than-substantiated advice to me providing a window on my own experiences, I will start posting about my own writing habits, what I'm planning to do, and why. I've already talked about my love of journaling, so consider this blog an extension of my journals, one that is open for public viewing and feedback.

I've recently come under an undeniable feeling of restlessness when it comes to my career choice and my daily habits. I attribute part of this to the fact that I recently turned 25, an age that sort of slapped me in the face, forcing me to realize that I am an adult, no doubt about it. However, I cannot help but feel that part of it is because I am working in a job, and have been working in a job, that doesn't satisfy what I want out of a career choice.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job. I work with some very wonderful people and have had incredible memories. Some lasting friends have been made in the retail world for me. Yet, as I approach my 8th year, I cannot help but consider my level of personal satisfaction with my daily work, and I am disappointed with that assessment.

I'm faced with the feeling that the last few years of my life have been far too complacent, and now I feel like I need to work that much harder in order to make up for the lost time. I recently spoke with my parents about this feeling, and my father gave me the advice "I felt the same way at your age, but I stayed in the grocery business and I feel it worked out well." To his credit it certainly did, and I'm glad he made the choices he did in his life. However, something about this restlessness tells me that it goes beyond an aging man attempting to hang onto the openness and opportunity-filled days of his youth. I feel like there is no reason why I should be allowing myself to feel this way, and that I can turn it around if only I spend the time doing so.

It's a difficult realization to come to, and even more difficult to put into action, but it is my plan to do so. It is my hope to advance my career and my interests every day until I reach the point where I am satisfied with what I am doing. When that happens, I will be able to look at other aspects of myself and my life, and what I can do to better them.

When I spoke with my mother I told her that "I'm tired of just satisfying people, and I want to start actually helping people." And that is as close to the truth about my feelings as I've ever been able to vocalize. I'm tired of working in customer service, putting my people skills and my communication talents to use with a flimsy facade of making a difference. I want to actually make a difference. I want to help people learn, realize their potential, open their minds and view the world in different ways. This is why I landed on teaching as a career, and I feel like it will be the career of choice for me as my life moves on.

The real challenge, for me especially, is to stop letting time move around me, and instead start moving with it.

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